I'm Glad...

I'm glad for many things, but here are a few that I am especially glad about at the current time.

I'm glad that my last name isn't Weiner, and that I'm not dumb enough to Tweet pictures of my man bulge to girls to whom I am not married. And I'm glad that I'm not dumb enough to deny it and then retract my denial.

I'm glad that I'm not graduating college right now. This is a tough job market for our 22 year olds. Hang in there, kids.

I'm glad Donald Trump isn't running for president. He would have just continued to piss me off.

I'm glad we got three free months of Starz from DirecTV when we moved and upgraded our service. Now I can watch Zombieland every day.

I'm glad my dog has a big backyard to play in.

I'm glad for the fact that John Edwards didn't end up as our president. His transgressions make Bill Clinton look like a monk.

I'm glad it's golf season. Maybe I'll recant this one after I play a few more rounds.