Things I Think

I used to do this type of post a lot on this blog, but I stole the idea and have been using it in my podcast, Audio Vaudeville. Here now are some of the best ones from my 16 episodes of Audio Vaudeville.

I think the Jazz should hire Karl Malone as assistant coach in charge of referring to yourself in the third person.

I think that Tufts University’s mascot should be two clumps of hair instead of an elephant.

I think I’m going to write a memoir about my experiences in an Arab country. I think I’ll call it, Three Cups of Lies.

I think there aren’t enough movies based on T.V. shows. I’m still waiting for the Judge Judy movie, starring Cate Blanchett as Judge Judy.

I think the new X-Men movie is really good, but I thought they missed an opportunity by not having Kevin Bacon’s mutant power be the ability to figure out how he was connected to all the other mutants in less than six moves.

I think if James Bond actually existed in real life he would probably have serious liver problems, several STDs and tons of unclaimed bastard children.

I think Rodin’s ‘The Thinker’ is probably thinking about where he left his car keys.

Movie of the Week

This week,

INDIANA JONES AND THE LAST CRUSADE

Starring- Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Julian Glover, Denholm Elliott

Even though Raiders of the Lost Ark is my favorite Indy film, this one holds a very special place in my heart, and is a very close second. Indy creators, George "childhood ruiner" Lucas and Steven Speilberg sought to bring a lighter touch to the series after the dark and monkey brain filled Temple of Doom. The suggestion was made to have Indiana Jones team up with his father in the search for the Holy Grail, but it was difficult to figure out who would play Henry Jones, Sr. It made sense that James Bond would be the only one who could give birth to an adventure star like Jones, so who better than Sean Connery?

The rapport between Connery and Harrison Ford is absolutely sparkling and it drives the story of the film. The movie opens with an action packed look at Indy as a kid (played by River Phoenix) as he evades tomb robbers in the red rocks of Utah. I always liked this part because of the fun chase on the train, and the fact that Indiana Jones, like me, was from Utah. The story then jumps ahead to 1938 where Indy is charged with finding his father who has gone missing in the search for the Holy Grail. Prof. Jones' trail leads to the Nazis who are also looking for the Grail and will do whatever it takes to get it, even if it means declaring war on the Joneses.

Julian Glover, John Rhys-Davies and Denholm Elliott round out a sterling cast and help give weight to the most comedic entry in the Jones series. Alison Doody is decent as the Nazi hottie, Elsa, but she isn't as strong as Karen Allen in Raiders. Among the best parts of the film are the motorcycle chase, Indy and his father's many arguments and the final battle aboard the tank. Very few action films boast as strong a cast, as engrossing a plot and as much fun as this one. Go watch Junior, I mean, Indiana again. You won't be sorry.

Things to watch for-

How Austrians say 'goodbye'
The Canyon of the Crescent Moon
Hitler's autograph
Lord Clarence McDonald
Ah, Venice

"Nazis, I hate these guys."

NFL Season Preview

Well kids, despite the squabbles between owners and players, the NFL will have a season in 2011 after all. You can look no further than this blog for the correct predictions for this season's outcome. Here now are my well informed picks for how the teams will finish this season.

*Denotes playoff teams

NFC

East-
1. Eagles* (Vick and all of his new flashy teammates take time to get on the same page, but when they do, look out)
2. Cowboys (Year two under Jason Garrett is good, but there's still something preventing this team from going all the way, could it be all the lofty expectations?)
3. Giants (G-Men have some good games and threaten to make the playoffs, but can't get it done in a very tough division)
4. Redskins (Shanahan is a long way removed from his Super Bowl wins, and it shows as his team struggles again with no franchise players)

South-
1. Falcons* (They unseat the Saints as the class of this division with strong Matty Ice and his very talented Offensive crew)
2. Saints* (Drew and Co. still have some gas left in the tank and will be dangerous as a hungry Wild Card team)
3. Buccaneers (It's too bad they are in this division because they have all the elements of a playoff contender, unlike anybody in the NFC West)
4. Panthers (Cam Newton or Jimmy Clausen? That's just one of many problems that this rebuilding team will have to deal with this year)

North-
1. Packers* (I hate to be a homer, but the Super Bowl champs look just as good, if not better than last year as they welcome back some good players who spent last year on IR)
2. Bears* (With a flurry of off season moves, the Bears take time to get rolling, but finish strong and snag the Wild Card)
3. Lions (Detroit is finally moving in the right direction, and they will brutalize opponents with their D-line of Suh and Fairley)
4. Vikings (There's work to be done in Minnesota where a lot of new pieces need to be put in place including at QB with a rookie vs. a veteran)

West-
1. Cardinals* (After a sub-par 2010, Kevin Kolb and Larry Fitzgeral lead the red birds back to the playoffs)
2. Seahawks (A lot of new players show promise for the future, but not the immediate future)
3. Rams (Stafford keeps his team moving in the right direction with some impressive wins, but just not enough of them)
4. 49ers (Jim Harbaugh's first year will be rocky, but his boy Andrew Luck might await in the 2012 draft)

AFC

East-
1. Patriots* (Brady likes playing with his new teammates and gets back to the Super Bowl for the first time since 18-1)
2. Jets* (The Jets do all they can to get to the big game, but they just don't have enough offense when it counts against the team above them)
3. Dolphins (They have some talent, but not enough at the skill positions to unseat the Pats or Jets)
4. Bills (They show flashes of greatness, but they are basically the JV team in this high powered division)

South-
1. Colts* (It must be getting old for the other teams in this division because all Manning and the Colts do is win every single year)
2. Jaguars (Once again, the Jags threaten and almost unseat the Colts, but they lack a QB to put them over the top)
3. Texans (They will also play the role of bridesmaid in the South, as Arian Foster has another season of over 1,000 yards)
4. Titans (Matt Hasselbeck comes in to help groom their QB of the future in a rebuilding year for Tennessee)

North-
1. Ravens* (My pick to win the AFC last year will be strong again with a bruising D and solid O led by Joe Flacco)
2. Browns* (I'm going rogue and picking everyone's favorite losers to make the playoffs for the first time since they came back to the league- Payton Hillis is my boy!)
3. Steelers (Losing the Super Bowl takes its toll on Pittsburgh and they just barely miss out on the playoffs)
4. Bengals (Controversy hurts this already struggling club like it always does- despite some talent at a few positions)

West-
1. Chiefs* (I picked them last year and they didn't disappoint, so maybe they'll get even farther this year, eh?)
2. Chargers (Despite a few showy free agent signings, the Bolts can't quite get past their slightly more efficient rivals in KC)
3. Raiders (New coach, same average team. Maybe they'll surprise us and scare the teams above them, but I doubt it)
4. Broncos (Tebow or Orton? It can't be easy for new coach John Fox, and it won't be. This team won't do much)

AFC Championship- PATRIOTS over RAVENS
NFC Championship- PACKERS over EAGLES
SUPER BOWL XLVI- PACKERS over PATRIOTS

I'm picking my boys from Green Bay to repeat. I know that seems lame, but I didn't pick them last year, so I feel okay picking them this year. GO PACK GO!

Nazi Thesis- Part IX

Here is the ninth part in my continuing series.

Himmler and Heydrich bear much of the blame for the Final Solution, but every wing of the Nazi party became a cog in the machine to rid the world of Jews. Even though there were differences in opinion among the top Nazis, each man did believe that Jews were a pathogenic race. Hatred of Jews bonded the top Nazis together, and masked by the legitimacy of Hitler’s leadership they used their departments in cooperation with each other. Goebbels, for instance, raided Jewish factories and neighborhoods in order to rid Berlin of its Jewish population. Even the propaganda minister was not above rounding up Jews for his Fuhrer. 

The most telling bit of evidence of the existence of a Nazi personality, is to what lengths each man was willing to go for Nazism and Hitler. Hitler’s love of Germany during World War I was recreated in his own men and directed back at him during World War II. Unwavering devotion to the movement was what made it successful and popular, but this would also be its undoing, just as German defeat in 1918 had been Hitler’s.

Fragile. That is a word that can easily describe any one of the top Nazis. Hitler and all of his inner circle were men who had very little strength. Most of them only had success after joining the party, and the thought of living without it was unbearable. Not one of the top Nazi leaders was able to escape their role in the war because they were all so wrapped up in the party. Speer got the least amount of punishment, but as a high official he still received his due. 

Speer, with Hitler

Going into the movement, these men were already on the margins, and at any given time a twist of fate could have plunged them into grave misfortune. Nazism was what brought them back into the mainstream, and perhaps in gratitude they poured every ounce of their being into the ideology of National Socialism. Many men had given so much to party in its early years that they were glorified by the other members, and this in turn made men who were new to the party want to give as much as they could. Hitler, of course, set the example and began to use his power to create martyrs of certain party members who had been killed, always in the service of the party. Service of the party was what usually came first to the top Nazis, and life was forced to assume a back seat.

Finally!

Well people, it looks as if the two major parties put aside their differences enough to get something done for once tonight. If all goes well, the House and Senate will be able to put into effect a measure that will allow our country to avoid default before the August 2nd deadline. This entire process has made me very uncomfortable because of the seemingly endless back and forth from our leaders. Several times in the last few months people on both sides snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and kowtowed to extremists on each end of the spectrum. I know that there is enough blame to go around, and that neither party is completely innocent or completely to blame, but I do see one group as a bit more guilty than the rest- the Tea Party members of the House of Representatives.

These people, most of whom have spent precious little time in office, have come to Washington angry and full of bitter cynicism about how our government functions. It's too bad that they don't know how our government functions. I won't name names, but as I have watched this debt ceiling debacle play out, I have to say that never in my life have I seen a group of people so angry and ignorant at the same time. I know that people are upset about the economy and that the Tea Party has harnessed that anger and turned it into seats in the House and Senate, but anger isn't an agenda, and neither is simply saying no to anything and everything people to the left of you propose. There needs to be something else besides blind, ignorant anger.

I commend some of the older, more seasoned, level headed and capable people in the GOP who have stood up to the new breed of conservative legislators and told them that compromise isn't the end of the world, and that there needs to be substance in their political message. John McCain, John Boehner and others are not on my list of favorite people by any means, but these guys need to continue to put these flash in the pan Tea Partiers in their place because even though they want to make sure Obama loses in 2012, they can't have the debt crisis blood on their hands. I hope so much now that clearer, more pragmatic heads have prevailed that the uber-conservative newbies in the House will see that just being pissed off and saying 'no' doesn't amount to a rat fart when it comes to legislating and being a good public servant. It just breeds more anger, and that's what will get someone else elected in their place in two years.

Movie of the Week

This week,

STAR TREK III: THE SEARCH FOR SPOCK

Starring- William Shatner, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, Christopher Lloyd

Most Trekkers maintain that the only good Star Trek films are the even numbered ones. I agree, except for the new Star Trek film (number 11), and this one, which I feel is too often maligned. It follows the events of Star Trek II, with the Enterprise returning to Earth after being battered by Khan, and the death of Spock whose body was left behind on the newly created planet Genesis. What follows is an exciting and moving adventure that I can still watch over and over again.

As they return to Earth, the Kirk is called to Spock's quarters because of an intruder who turns out to be Dr. McCoy. McCoy is out of sorts and it becomes clear, after a visit from Sarek, Spock's father, that before he died, Spock put his Katra, or living spirit, inside McCoy via a mind meld. Kirk must now defy his orders in order to rescue Spock's body from Genesis and return his Katra to him. Meanwhile, Kirk's son David and Lt. Saavik are exploring the Genesis planet, but their trip takes an unexpected turn when they find a Vulcan boy who turns out to be a regenerated Spock.

The Klingons are also in the picture, as they race to Genesis to discover its secrets. Kirk and crew are able to steal the Enterprise and get to Genesis just in time to fight the Klingons, but not before Kirk suffers yet another devastating loss- or two. Star Trek III, which was directed by Leonard Nimoy, is a darker chapter in the series, but has all the ingredients that people enjoy about Star Trek. There is a good amount of action- especially Kirk and Kruge's final fight, there is a lot of heart, and some good laughs- McCoy trying to nerve pinch the security guard is hilarious.

I probably watched this Star Trek movie more than all the others as a kid because of the amount of excitement in it. The crew stealing the Enterprise and the dog fight with the Klingons are still my favorite parts that I could watch anytime. The best thing about this film is that it set up one of the best entries in the series- the one with the whales.

Things to watch for-

John Larroquette as Maltz
Kruge's dog
The Excelsior
The final voyage of the Enterprise
Sulu kicks some ass

"Jim...your name is Jim."

Book of the Month

This month,

THE BOURNE IDENTITY

By Robert Ludlum

After having seen all of the Bourne films starring Matt Damon, I decided to see what the source material was like. While very, very different from the onscreen adventures, the first book in the Bourne saga was still a very gripping, action packed and fun to read. The book is a product of its time, and one can see why the films did not follow the story of the books, but that does not mean that Ludlum's Bourne is not as compelling as Damon's.

The plot is very complicated and has many twists and turns, so I will not explain them here. I will say that the hook that gets you into the story is good and is one of the few elements that is the same as the movie. A man is discovered by a trawler in the Mediterranean Sea, almost dead and suffering from amnesia. The story follows him as he tries to discover who he is and why there is information about a bank account in Zurich embedded in his hip. Once in Zurich he discovers that his name is Jason Bourne and that he has money and knows how to fight and kill. These skills come in handy as he is hunted throughout the course of the novel.

Who is hunting him, Bourne does not know, but evidence points to the assassin, Carlos the Jackal, an expert killer whose trademark is a bullet to the throat. Along the way, the reader and Bourne pick up clues as to his true identity and the larger game being played. Ludlum does an expert job of dropping crumbs along the reader's path as the story meanders through heart pumping action and exotic locales. This book is half mystery, half spy/military story. I did find myself to be confused at points because of the complexity of the plot, but thankfully Ludlum masterfully exposes all the various strands by the end. I haven't picked up The Bourne Supremacy yet, but you can bet that I will.