Friday, December 4, 2009

Movie of the Week

For the Christmas/Holiday season I will be devoting my movie of the week posts to Christmas movies. This week,


Starring- Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Catherine O'Hara

This movie flat out rules. I remember seeing it in the theatre as an 8 year old for my friend's birthday. It was all I could do not to entice burglars into the house while my mom was gone to assault them with homemade booby traps. Everyone wanted to be Kevin McAllister, and rightly so. I am assuming most of you have seen this movie and are well acquainted with it, so I will not bore you with a synopsis or review. Instead I will present a conjecture of what happened to the main characters in the last 19 years.

The 'Polka King of the Midwest' and his band the Kenosha Kickers were inducted into the Polka Hall of Fame, but were unable to attend because they were on their 'Polka Polka Polka' Tour of Europe.

They spent 6 to 10 years in prison as the bitches of Dr. Hate, but finally were set free after Dr. Hate was shanked during movie night. Once they paid their debt to society, Harry opened a Pawn Shop in Hackinsack, NJ and Marv starred in and directed a semi-autobiographical low budget adult film called 'Wett Bandit.'

Narrowly avoided having all their children taken away by child protective services after leaving Kevin behind twice. Have since over-compensated by adopting three Cambodian babies who are never out of their sight and sleep in the same bed with them. Those children are now in foster homes.

Buzz is living in Chicago with his boyfriend Mitch Murphy (the kid across the street). They own and operate a Pet Store that specializes in tarantulas.

He is still a total cheapskate, and as was arrested for stealing crystal wine glasses from a hotel room in Ft. Lauderdale.

He is a therapist who works exclusively with children who are bed wetters. He is the author of the best selling book "Outer Dampness, Inner Pain."

After many years of therapy, he went back to New York and opened up a Pizza joint in Queens that serves only Cheese Pizzas called Old Man Marley's.

Things to Watch for-

John Candy as The Polka King of the Midwest
A French Jimmy Stewart
Acey, Snakes and Johnny
Buzz's Girlfriend- Woof!

"Keep the change, ya filthy animal."

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