Thursday, December 17, 2009

The Saddest Christmas Song Ever

Everyone is all about that song 'The Christmas Shoes' this year, but before that craptacular band New Song raped our ears, there was a sadder, more pointless song. The song of which I speak is 'The Little Boy that Santa Claus Forgot' by Nat King Cole. I really like Nat King Cole, but I'm sorry, this song is so awful that I question his intelligence. Who thought that a song about a boy who gets no presents for Christmas and is sad would put people in a good holiday mood? At least 'The Christmas Shoes' has a moral to it, albeit a stupid, convoluted moral, but there is no moral to 'The Little Boy Who Santa Claus Forgot.'

Here are the lyrics, so you can see what I mean.

He's the little boy who Santa Claus forgot,
and goodness knows he didn't want a lot.
He sent a note to Santa for some soldiers and a drum,
It broke his little heart when Santa didn't come

In the street he envies all those lucky boys
Then wanders home to play with last year's broken toys
I'm so sorry for that laddie
He hasn't got a daddy
He's the little boy that Santa Claus forgot

Wow, that makes me feel so good about Christmas, how about you? WTF? The song might have been good if the boy were a little turd who was greedy and rude to his parents and acted like a dick to his friends, and Santa not coming taught him a lesson, but no, this little boy is a nice kid who only wanted some soldiers and a drum. A drum! Come on, Santa! It's not like he was asking for something outrageous like Beatles Rock Band- he just wanted a drum. Oh, and by the way, this kid doesn't have a dad! Yeah, I forgot that Santa has a thing against kids without dads. Maybe this kid should get together with the kid from Christmas Shoes and form a therapy group called Shitty Christmas. I like to be happy at Christmas, but thanks to this song I'm now so jaded that I hope I choke on some fruitcake.

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