Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Happy New Year, Schmohawks!

Some people just couldn't wait to get going on their Schmohawkery, so here are the newest batch of idiots, morons and losers for 2011.


These two Schmohawks are famous for God knows what and they have a show on the T.V. I know a lot of losers have T.V. shows, but these two get Schmohawk status because they are so insufferable when they talk to each other. Their whole relationship seems awkward and wooden and it sounds like the stuff they say to each other is being read off of cue cards. Next time two obscure Schmohawks are given a show, make sure they are more interesting and sincere than the Rancics.


Some Schmohawks from the Ohio State Football team, including star QB Torelle Pryor, traded autographs for tattoos in a clear violation of NCAA rules. I'm not at all sad for these guys, mostly because Ohio State is one of the most overrated programs, and their fans are almost as smug as the Schmohawks at USC and Notre Dame. Schmohawkery earned those boys a five game suspension. By the way, what kind of a mascot is a Buckeye, anyway?


This guy has been and always will be the archetypal Schmohawk. Let's count the ways, he was an underpants showing white rapper, he has no sense of humor about himself, he thinks he's a huge badass, and now that his new movie The Fighter is gaining critical acclaim he'll be even more self absorbed than before. I wish there was a way to get this Schmohawk out of the public eye for good. Scandal anyone?

1 comment:

  1. Ok, I can't believe I'm about to do this, but I have to defend the Rancics. She is an E! news host (my dream job I may ad) And he won season one of The Apprentice. That's why they are famous. I Have to defend them for 2 reasons:
    1-I met them and they were very nice.
    2-She publicly displayed on her reality show one miscarriage and a failed in-vetro attempt and it was completely heart breaking to watch. That is one of the worst things a woman can go through let alone in front of America. I realize she signed up for it when she got a show, but she could of cut that part out. I give them props because it shows other woman hat went through the same thing they are not alone.