UTAH JAZZ ORNAMENT
My Grandma Pat and Grandpa Chuck gave me this great basketball themed ornament back in 1995. It was great because it showcased our shared love of the Jazz. I'm always glad to pull this one out of the box, but I was even more glad this year because the team went back to the old music note logo this year. Christmas 1995 never felt so timely.
MOOSE ON WHEELS
I'm not sure where this one came from, but it's been around as long as I can remember. What's that moose got wheels for, you ask? Well, maybe he is like the Six Million Dollar Man and was rebuilt after an accident, or perhaps moose had wheels in prehistoric times and evolved out of them. Whatever the explanation is, one thing is for sure- he looks great on a Christmas tree. Sorry, She. Only the females have red antlers and blue bodies.
MEAN SANTA
This one is from a series of ornaments that we have of Santas from around the world. It depicts Santa forcing a child into his sack against his will. Obviously this kid was on the naughty list, but why is Santa putting him in a sack? My guess is that this country's version (probably Germany) of Santa takes naughty children home to feast on them. I hear that in an early version of The Night Before Christmas, Clement C. Moore had a short scene describing Santa throwing kids in his sack and melting them down in a large vat at the North Pole to use in his sugarplums. It was edited out of the story. I can't imagine why.
RED ANGEL
These angels were made by my great grandmother. At one point there were enough to cover several Christmas trees worth, but over the years they have deteriorated and now there are only a handful left. Notice the pipe cleaner halo and Ivory soap flake hair on her. Pretty cool, huh? I think more people should try to make ornaments like she did.
NAKED SANTA
Don't get all scandalized by Santa's blurry little weenus. This charming ornament was given to me by my Auntie Cher. It's really funny and always makes me giggle when I take it out of the box. I know I'm a child, but I don't care. All I have to say is it must be cold at the North Pole. Zing!
Read David Sedaris's essay "Six to Eight Black Men" and that should explain the Mean Santa.
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You wouldn't be interested in selling your jazz ornament, would you?
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