Movie of the Week

This week,

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980)

Starring- Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams

I know that many Ewok lovers like Return of the Jedi best, but for me, Empire is the best film in the Star Wars saga. It has so many great moments, pivotal scenes and the best dialogue in the series (George Lucas didn't write it). The darkest of the original films, Empire takes us deep into the backstory of Anakin Skywalker and fleshes out things only hinted at in A New Hope. I actually like the remastered version of this film as well, mostly because there wasn't anything to fix or add, so George Lucas had a hard time ruining it.

Instead of reviewing a movie that most of the world has already seen a kajillion times, I will instead list the top ten things that I like best about Episode V.

10. The Family Guy parody- Something Something Something Dark Side. See it, I laughed so hard that I peed.

9. The most pimp response to "I love you" ever committed to film. Thanks Han, you're a total scoundrel.

8. The taun tauns. This is for my friend Natalie.

7. Boba Fett. I'd put him higher, but he never really does anything. Watch the movie again, his badass reputation is based on very little actual bounty hunting. He's still cool though.

6. Darth Vader's nasty scarred head. It looks like a rotten cabbage.

5. The AT-ATs. They are super awesome and hard to bring down. Unless you've got Wedge firing a tow cable.

4. Yoda's force skills. This Jedi Master is a wealth of knowledge and quotes. He's like a little green Tony Robbins.

3. Luke's hand getting cut off. I love seeing that little bitch get sliced up by Vader. That's what you get for whining about those power converters, Luke.

2. Lando Calrissian. Such a smooth operator, and a great boss too. Just ask Lobot.

1. The John Williams score. I know a lot of his music sounds the same, and he jumped the shark a long time ago, but this is the best score he ever wrote and it needs to be recognized.

There you have it, kids. May the force be with you.

"I thought they smelled bad...on the outside."